


How The Days Fly By

by FernStone



Category: His Dark Materials (TV), His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
Genre: Dad Lord Asriel, Dadriel, Family, Family Fluff, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Lyra's World (His Dark Materials), Parent-Child Relationship, Pre-Canon, Toddler Lyra, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-18
Packaged: 2021-02-19 04:30:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22271875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FernStone/pseuds/FernStone
Summary: Asriel knows that he will have to distance himself eventually. He needs to become the cold Uncle that protects Lyra from afar.But that doesn't mean he won't make the most of the short moments while he can, when she's too young to truly understand who he is.
Relationships: Lord Asriel & Lyra Belacqua, Lord Asriel & Stelmaria, Lyra Belacqua & Pantalaimon
Comments: 10
Kudos: 73





	How The Days Fly By

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Val_Creative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Val_Creative/gifts).



> Hmmm so this came about cause I've been reading La Belle Sauvage (I'm like 3/4 through) and we were talking about how great Dad Asriel is and him with toddler Lyra so uh. I wrote it / it was sorta a request but I was gonna write anyway xD
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this though and I hope everyone enjoys! I needed some cuteness after the last fic I wrote (and being generally sad over Lyra/Will and life atm)
> 
> Enjoy~

Asriel couldn't help but smile down at the baby in his arms, held delicately as if he could break her. Such a fragile things babies were. One wrong move and it was all over. But he would never hurt the girl in his arms.

No one would ever hurt her, not if he could prevent it.

His daughter let out a bubble of laughter, swinging her chubby fists around in glee. The way her face lip up as she smiled had already wormed her way into his heart.

He held her softly and close to him, knowing it could only last so long before he had to hand her over and leave. He didn't want to but he must. It was safest for Lyra in Jordan college and that meant not being with him.

For above all, the most important thing was her safety. He would protect her with everything he had.

-

Lyra had changed so much since he'd last saw her. Before he'd left she'd been nothing more than a baby, crying in her bed as a housekeeper saw to her. Now she was fearlessly toddling about, chubby hands grabbing for the bottom of Asriel's flight jacket whenever she saw him.

She'd grown up in the blink of an eye. Yet she was still too young to truly know who he was, something he was thankful for. Yes she could just about say the word "uncle" when prompted by the Master. But she didn't know he was significant to her. Not like she would in a few years.

He was just a stranger who had turned up and shown interest in her, he was sure. She was only one and a half after all.

It meant he could relax more. He didn't need to distance himself. Not yet.

He didn't let himself dwell on the fact that he'd missed so many milestones. Her first word had been Pan according to the Master. In a better world it would have been dada or mama but it was best Lyra never uttered those words at all. Her daemon would be there for her far more than her parents could be. Asriel knew he couldn't provide for her, and that woman certainly couldn't either.

No, there was no use getting sad over missing her first word or steps. It was to be expected. Instead he didn't think about it and went about business as usual.

"Asriel," Stelmaria rumbled to him as they strode through the grounds of Jordan college. "We're being followed."

He raised an eyebrow at her amusement. Clearly not a threat. He couldn't help the light chuckle escaping his lips as he spotted their stalker.

It was Lyra, walking with unsteady steps and ungainly snow leopard cub Pantalaimon beside her. It was both a hilarious and adorable sight. Both of them had so little coordination yet they were trying to sneak behind him in some kind of childish game.

Her already large dark eyes widened when she realised that she'd been caught. She instantly put her hands in front of them as it would hide her from him. He let himself smile, striding over to her and bending down to be at her level. She peeked out from behind her hands with eyes brimming with curiosity.

He could already tell she was going to be a precocious child when she was older. Thankfully she was still young.

"What are you doing here, Lyra?" he asked as if he didn't know she'd been following him the whole time.

"Pwaying," she grinned up at him, all pretence of hiding gone. He marvelled in her confidence when she had only met him once a few days ago. Of course, she was his daughter. Most other toddlers would be hiding behind adults they knew and avoiding those they didn't. Not her.

"What were you playing?" He glanced over at Stelmaria, who had lain down to let Pan jump all over her. He was batting at her ears and rolling over her back with squeaks of joy. Lyra's joy shone clearly through her face as well, enjoying his playing just as much as him.

"Expwowa!" she raised a little fist as if she'd just topped the tallest mountain. "Like you!"

"Oh really?" he chuckled. She looked utterly ridiculous. "Who told you I was one?"

"The Master," she nodded firmly, little hand reaching out to clutch his arm. "Expwor with me now."

He raised an eyebrow at her boldness, mouth settled in a slight smirk that she wouldn't understand and probably thought was just a smile. He shared an amused glance with Stelmaria, who was gently batting Pan in some kind of mock fighting. It was mostly just Pan going absolutely wild with excitement and bundling into her, with Stel occasionally pushing him away.

He looked back to his daughter. She was looking up at him with a fiery determination both typical of yet beyond one of her age.

"Where are we exploring?" he found himself going along with her, against all the internal arguments that said to keep a distance. It was fine when she was this young, right? She would barely remember him or grow attached.

"Gardens!" she said, grabbing his hand and marching him along in the direction of the properly kept gardens of the college. He let her lead him, but not before making sure no one was around. It was one thing to relax around his infant daughter and another to be seen like this by scholars. He didn't trust others to not use it against him.

Pan scampered along in front of them, just ahead of Lyra but constantly running back to jump at Stelmaria. After attempting to bat her nose or ears he'd run back ahead as if she'd chase him. She never did, for there was a line she drew with the amount of energy she put into playing with him. But it didn't deter Pan and he continued to have his fun.

When they reached the garden she strode (as much as a child her age could) confidently over to one of the flower beds, next to a large tree, and crouched down close to the ground. Pan joined her, shifting into a hedgehog and sniffling the mud beside her. Lyra was raking about with already grubby fingers before turning around with elation in her eyes.

"I've got a pwesent!" she looked expectantly at Asriel and he held out his hand.

She promptly dropped a worm into it. He raised an eyebrow. Of course his daughter was digging up bugs in the gardens. She didn't seem scared at all, if anything excited as she cooed at a snail nearby. He gently returned the worm to his home.

She was glad she hadn't started trying to eat the bugs. He was sure that would come.

He watched, amused, as she ran between the flower beds. Occasionally she would bring back another insect for him to take or pick a particularly pretty flower. He even bent down to allow her to put it behind his ear, Stelmaria garnished with one that matched. She could tell she was equally disgruntled and chuffed at the attention, as most children so small feared her. Most people, really. It was how they both tended to like it.

It didn't take long for her to tire herself out, young as she was. Her running slowed until she came to a halt. A little pout came across her lips as she so desperately wanted to keep going but her body was stopping her. Pan whimpered beside her, back to being a snow leopard cub.

Asriel ran a hand through his hair, foreseeing hysterics if she was forced to go to bed or back inside. But he couldn't just leave her out in the mud with her as tired as she was.

Seeing her lower lip beginning to tremble he strode over, bending down to lift her up and into her shoulders. She babbled with joy and swung her little arms around, hitting him with barely controlled hands. He just moved her slightly on his shoulders so she couldn't reach him as easily, making sure his hands were firm on her legs. Stelmaria herself had picked up Pan by the scruff of his neck, gentle and motherly.

He let Lyra point to where she wanted to go and carried her there. She took great joy in feeling the tree leaves she couldn't reach before. He had to keep a firm grip on her to sit her from pulling herself off and onto one of the lower branches. She'd be all over the trees when she was older, he was sure. But he'd be a terrible father if he let her do that now. Instead he let her squeal and coo at all the sights she couldn't see at her normal height.

He gently lowered her off of his shoulders and into his arms when he felt her droop against his head. The infant was barely keeping her eyes open, yawning viciously in his arms. Pan was in much the same state, practically sleeping in Stelmaria's gentle jaw. They shared a soft look and he cradled Lyra gently.

They carried the two all the way to their room. Asriel carefully removed Lyra's shoes and placed her in her bed, Stelmaria depositing Pan beside her. He shifted to a kitten and curled up next to her. Asriel couldn't help the warm smile as he pulled the covers up over her already sleeping form. He put a light hand across her brow, gently brushing away strands of wild hair, before placing a gentle kiss there. She mumbled quietly in her sleep, one hand flying up to grip his beard. He held in a breathy laugh, not wanting to wake her up.

A momentary lapse of self control and then he pulled away. It wouldn't happen again. Especially not as she grew older.

He left, closing the door quietly. He would be gone entirely in the morning but he was sure she'd have forgotten about him by then anyway.

But he was glad he'd gotten to spend a little time with her. He had to make the most of it, before the time came that he would have to distance himself. He had to cherish it, and her.

-

Lyra had grown even more when he next saw her.

And somehow she had gotten even more curious. Before she had just wanted to run about and pick up things, with little care for what they were. Now she was at the age where she was learning what everything was and constantly asking questions.

And she was getting in more trouble than before.

Stelmaria had taken to carrying Pan by the scruff of his neck almost every time they saw them. It had only been a few days but every occasion they seemed to be doing something else too dangerous for a toddler. Stelmaria would bound over and grab the young Daemon, and Asriel would bark at Lyra to stop. Sometimes a word was enough and other times he had to pick her up under his arm and carry her off.

Stelmaria didn't bother with the words. Secretly, she liked carrying Pan about like he was her cub. Which in a way, he was.

He was relaxing in his quarters in the college, book in hand and tea beside him. His daughter was playing, scribbling on some blank paper she'd been given. She was practically surrounded by toys. The housekeeper who'd brought her over was worried she'd get bored and ruin something so has brought a whole box.

Asriel wasn't surprised that Lyra easily jumped from one thing to another. The constant curiosity was a trait that came from him after all.

He'd even gone as far to bring her back a new toy, one from a small town in the North. She'd discarded it at first but he had confidence she'd go back to it later.

Lyra had rolled away from her scribbling, watching curiously as Pan sniffed out the toys laid out around her. She was waiting for him to choose. Asriel smiled slightly before returning to his book.

He felt a gentle tug on the end of his trousers and looked over to the little hand that had done it.

Lyra looked up at him, eyes brimming with curiosity and pride. In her mouth was the toy that he'd brought back for her. Beside her Pan was chewing cautiously on another toy, and had clearly done the same to the one now in her mouth.

Many people would have been shocked or possibly disgusted, but Asriel just laughed lightly. It was only understandable that Lyra would want to explore the world through her Daemon! And copying him was just one way of doing that. Really, it was showing of a good bond forming between them.

He gently took the offered toy, because clearly she wanted to show it to him, before hoisting her up onto his lap. "Did you like my present?"

"Yes!" she grinned, arms flung wide as she shuffled on his knee. "Pan said it tasted funny so I tried too. He was right."

Asriel smiled at her, even with a slight amount of despair in his eyes at what she said. Of course she had tried eating a toy because it tasted funny. He sure hoped Pan didn't start chewing on things that were risky for humans to put in their mouths. "That's because it's not made for you to eat."

Lyra tilted her head up at him in confusion. "But Pan said it's good to chew. Why can't I?"

He frowned lightly while pondering how to explain it to her. For one, he didn't want to stifle the wonderful curiosity she had. Her urge to explore and try new things should be encouraged not scorned. But he also didn't want her to do anything dangerous.

"You and Pan are connected, but not the same. It's normal for him to bite and chew things." His eyes softened as her face fell. "But it's fine if it's something Pan says is safe. Some things are dangerous for you and not him. You need to be careful."

He was sure when she was older she'd grow out of it, anyway. He just wanted to make sure she didn't start eating or doing something dangerous just because Pan did it.

Lyra nodded, seeming to understand. Though if she truly did he wasn't sure. She was only two years old after all. She stretched out her arms and Pan jumped up to her, nuzzling and licking her face. She giggled and Asriel relaxed.

He was certain he would have to give her some stern warnings when she was older, for her curiosity would almost definitely get her in trouble. But for now she was young and he didn't want to constrain any of her freedom.

Seeing her and Pan so happy, so close, was all the mattered right now.

After their hug Pan hopped back down and started scampering around Stelmaria. She flicked her tail and he took it as an opportunity to play. He’d pounce at her tail only for her to move it out of the way. He’d then lie down, butt in the air and waggling hilariously before he pounced again. Stelmaria was far too quick for him to ever catch it.

Lyra had started to squirm more on his knee, waving her arms towards were the Daemon’s were playing.

“Use your words, Lyra.”

“Lemme down,” Lyra demanded, looking up at him with a stubborn frown. He resisted laughing. It was so very like him to order rather than politely ask. This once he gave in and put her back down on the ground.

She immediately ran over to Pan, watching him for a moment before crouching on the floor just like him. It looked even more ridiculous when she did it, for she wasn’t a cub practicing hunting, but she was very into it. Her and Pan whispered to each other as they moved around and attempted to pounce on Stelmaria’s tail. Of course neither succeeded, colliding into each other with a loud oof. Stelmaria continued to humour them before standing up.

She started slowly walking around the room, tail still flicking, and the two followed behind her. As she upped her pace to a brisk walk the two were running after her. Lyra had her arms outstretched as if to grab her tail (though Asriel was sure she wouldn’t actually do so) and Pan constantly jumped up to try and nip it. Stelmaria ran them all around the room, amusement and pleasure flooding into Asriel, making sure to avoid anything that might be dangerous for them.

The two were filled with giggles and bright eyes as they chased her around and around. They started to tire, slowly but surely, and Stelmaria slowed down to stand at Asriel’s feet. Pan practically barreled into her in his excitement at finally catching her and Lyra came to a halt, falling against Asriel’s legs.

He quickly bent over to catch her and she grinned up at him, even as her eyes were heavy with sleep. Gently he pulled her back up into his arms and allowed her to rest against him, eyes fluttered closed. Pan curled up against Stelmaria as she gently licked his head.

He wanted nothing more for this moment to last forever, even though he knew it would come to an end soon enough. But for now he could enjoy the soft warmth of the fire and the feeling of his daughter in his arms along with the pleasure Stelmaria took from such similar things.

-

"The girl is almost old enough to remember," Stelmaria commented as they strode through Jordan College. "We must start to withdraw now or she will grow attached. She can't come to depend on us or know how much she means to us."

"I know that," Asriel let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand through his greying hair. He wished it didn't have to be this way. He'd give anything to be able to continue to spend time with his daughter as he did. But it wasn't safe for her and it wasn't what was best for him. He had to protect her. To do that he had to distance himself, become the cold and unreachable uncle. Soon she would be old enough to understand what his actions towards him meant. He was dreading it but he couldn't stop her growing up. No matter how much he wished she'd stay a little girl forever, toddling around his feet. 

And he couldn't give in to the urge to continue to treat her as his daughter. It was such a selfish desire, one that he knew would have far reaching consequences and endanger her. He didn't expect her to understand when she grew old enough to feel his coldness. But as long as she was safe it didn't matter. He had to keep her safe.

"The Master will look after her."

"I know that," Asriel tutted at Stelmaria. "We will be away for much longer from now on, anyway, so we won't be here to watch her grow up. It will be easier to keep a distance that way."

Stelmaria hummed agreement.

Asriel was halfway across the courtyard across from the senior common room when a tiny body barreled into him, another one jumping right into Stelmaria.

"Uncle!"

He carefully removed her arms from around his leg and held her at a distance. Stelmaria had crouched down to lick Pan gently, the younger daemon turning into a snow leopard cub with a pleased mewl.

"Hello, Lyra. What did I tell you about running without looking where you're going?"

"I was looking!" Lyra retorted stubbornly, face scrunched up as if a three year old could make herself look intimidating.

"Then why did you run into me?"

"We was hugging you!"

"It is not alright to run into people, even if you know them," he chided, keeping his words gentle so that he didn’t make her to cry. Not that she did often. She was a strong child, if already incredibly stubborn and precocious. "Don't do it again."

"Kay," Lyra nodded with a little frown, toddling a few steps away from him. Pan followed with a slight whimper about going away from Stelmaria. He scampered up onto Lyra's shoulder as an ermine. She looked down and shuffled her feet, unable to make herself look as annoyed as she wanted to. He could easily tell she was upset.

Against his better judgment, and Stelmaria's warning stare, he stepped forward to sweep Lyra up into his arms.

Just one last time, he told Stelmaria with a thought. He was convincing himself as much as her. Next time he came back, it wouldn't be like this. He’d begin to distance himself then.

Lyra's pout didn't last long, as stubborn as she was, and soon a smile lit up her features. She threw her arms around his neck with a laugh. With her in his arms he continued walking. Stelmaria huffed a sigh at him but seemed more than happy to pick up and carry Pan (though not before she gently growled at him for demanding it).

"Have you been good while I was away?" He asked, knowing full well the amount of trouble she'd caused. The Master made sure to keep him updated.

"Yes!" she preened, with a certain wide eyed innocence and a strange pride that only a three year old could have over something they hadn't even done.

"What have you been doing since then?"

"Loads of exploring!" Lyra's eyes lit up as she began to detail all the places she'd explored. He wasn't surprised to find out she'd already started climbing, but thankfully hadn't even able to get far. She went into great detail about some of the complicated forms Pan had taken. It seemed at the moment his favourite was an ermine, but he liked to be a snow leopard when Stelmaria was around. Stelmaria was chuffed at that.

"And have you begun learning from the scholars?"

"Yeah," Lyra pouted at that. He wasn't surprised that she disliked structured learning - as much as he had a thirst for knowledge he had always hated the constraints of being taught by others. He had suffered through it because it was necessary but he'd always preferred the freedom of his research.

"What have you been learning?" He wanted to set a precedent, something that he could ask about each time he came back. Something that seemed impersonal to her but let him know about how she was doing.

"Reading," Lyra frowned thoughtfully. "And writing. I can write my name now! And Pan's! I don't like reading it's boring. I like going outside more."

"Very impressive," Asriel hummed, smiling slightly when her grin widened at the praise. "But you need to learn both, even if you don't enjoy it."

"But why? I just want to explore! Like you!"

"I can read and write," Asriel chuckled. "There's a lot more to it than just exploring. The actual exploration is only a small part of it, Lyra, and you must learn well if you want to follow in my footsteps."

"Why?"

He could tell she couldn't understand, head tilted and eyes confused. She was young yet of the age where she would question everything he said anyway. She'd understand as she grew older, he was sure.

"Because I say so, and I know what's best."

Lyra huffed at that and Pan indignantly squirmed out of Stelmaria's grip. He turned into a bird and flew up to land on Lyra's shoulder, before changing to an ermine. Both fixed him with a glare of annoyance. "That e'nt fair."

"That's how life is, child," he sighed softly though in good nature, ruffling her hair.

He stopped when he realised he'd reached his destination, the door of the Master's study looming in front of him. He gently put Lyra down. "Run along, Lyra, I have important business to attend to."

"Don't wanna!" Lyra scowled up at him, arms folded and stomping her foot in a huff. Pan shifted from ermine to wolf to snow leopard before settling on a hissing wild cat. Asriel frowned down at them, forcing his most stern expression. It wasn't difficult. He couldn't allow her to think she could just get what she wanted by throwing a strop.

"Lyra," he warned, crouching down to be at her level. A hint of fear shot through her dark eyes. He knew how intimidating he looked, especially to a young girl in trouble. "You will not throw a temper tantrum to get your way. Not everything is about you. Now I'm going to go talk to the Master and you are going to go play elsewhere, understand?"

She nodded sullenly and with a trembling bottom lip. Pan clung to her as a mouse, trembling and whimpering. Asriel held back a sigh. Perhaps he'd been to harsh (or maybe she was playing it up for sympathy).

"Be a good girl and I'll come see you this evening."

She nodded again, a little less sullenly. She gave a hesitant glance before hugging his leg and scurrying away.

"You'll have to be more harsh than that in the future," Stelmaria commented, rubbing her head against him. He reached down to run a hand through her fur.

"I know. Just let me have this one last time."

Stelmaria rumbled her agreement and they both stood in silence for moments, contemplating, before entering the Master's study.

If all went well they'd have plenty of support and rarely be around, anyway.


End file.
